The Pursuit of God

Christian theology teaches the doctrine of prevenient grace, which, briefly stated, means that before a man can seek God, God must first have sought the man.... We pursue God because, and only because, He has first put an urge within us that spurs us to the pursuit.

There is an urge within me to pursue God, to seek Him, to find Him. It is a sanctifying urge, for I am already His child. This urge has been with me for a long time, but it is a struggle. For so long, I felt as though my desire for God was met with total disinterest on His part. It made whatever discipline and perseverance I had in trying to build our relationship dwindle away. And perhaps that was the problem... I was focusing so much on what I had to do. I had read Tozer's book before, but it seems I had forgotten this important truth regarding prevenient grace. If I have a desire to seek God, it is because He has given me that desire, and wants me to pursue Him.

There remains yet the ugly voice that tells me that although He has given me this desire, He has no reciprocal desire for me. It is hard for me to believe that God would want anything to do with me. I can believe that He saved me, that Christ died for me, but to believe that He is interested in a post-conversion relationship with me? It is difficult. I have issues. In instances like these, however, I must not listen to the ugly voice, or to what my damaged emotions tell me. I must search the Scriptures to learn what He has to say about Himself. And I must believe what He says.

Why must something so simple be made to be so difficult? The following song is on one of my favorite CD's, Streams. It encapsulates and expresses what I feel so perfectly.

Eyes closed in a veil of tears when I hear the sound
Once more You've come to me - You've calmed me down
You still the raging sea inside of me
My Lord has come for me
Why-why is it so hard for me to see
Why is it so hard to just believe
Show me what it means to be free

Chorus:
The only thing I need I already have
The fullness of Your mercy in my hand
The only One who loves me as I am
The only thing I need I already have

My heart - a companion to my wounded soul
Again You comfort me-You take control
You quell the fear that owns too much of me
As it was meant to be

So why-when each and every word becomes a war
When there's nothing I can see worth fighting for
You come into my heart and set me free

Chorus

You're all I need-already have it
All I need-already have it
All I need-already have it
All I need-already have it

Chorus